The avalanche of encroachment that has been going on the last couple of weeks (in reality, months) caused me to run - no, to vault - over and borrow a friend's copy of Cloud and Townsend's Boundaries for a refresher course. I am already quite a few chapters into it, and it is all very familiar. Maybe it's the familiarity or (dare I say it?) a maturity factor, but it seems easier to grasp this time around. Implementation is another story.
The Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. On the surface it seems pretty simple, but looks are deceiving. Is it "doing unto others" to rescue them or is it to let them reap the fruit of their choices? When compassion and mercy collide with personal responsibility, personal ownership of your decisions/choices, truly what would Jesus do?
As I was typing the last question, I remembered reading in Will Jesus Buy Me A Double-Wide about a person who was asking another for money because their electricity was about to be turned off. If memory serves, this was a habitual problem. The person who was asked to come to the rescue declined to rescue them but instead promised that he would stand by them, be there with them in the dark so that they would not be afraid.
The question still remains for me, when do you say "yes" and when do you say "no"? Maybe I'll find out when I finish the book?
Some deep thoughts and questions. And yes, it's hard not to know if you are enabling or not. Thankfully the Lord is our guide. Praying for you. :)
ReplyDeleteJoAnn
Thank you for your prayers, J :)
ReplyDeleteThese are questions that I've always gone back and forth on, but circumstances dictate that I come to a decision as to how and where my boundary is.
Talk with you soon :)
Mary
I would say it depends on the situation. If you are giving money to a homeless person because they ask for it, you are just helping. If a family member is doing something that is self destructive or that endangers the family and you overlook it/ignore it/defend it you are enabling. But really, it's nobody elses business but yours. I hope things start looking up for you soon...
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