The C Word

C-words run the gamut. Candy. Cr@p. Christian. Some are repeatable, some not so much. Has anyone else ever played the game Dirty Minds? Okay, that was an inside joke :)

I used to joke around about the word "community." It seemed like such a catch phrase, the in thing to do. Everywhere I turned "community" popped up either actually or through inference. What does living in missional community mean? What does it truly look like? I remember reading books and blogs that expounded wonderfully upon on the idea - www.friendofmissional.org, authors Henri Nouwen, www.the-next-wave.com - and in the back of my mind I thought I was living what I believed.

I was wrong.

To live in missional community, to truly fellowship with one another, you have to open yourself up to people, something very uncomfortable for me. I have never trusted anyone enough to even begin to approach it from other than a truly academic point of view. It is great in theory, and in practice for others, but not for me. I open myself up this much and no more. There is too much of a danger in letting people see who you really are and what you are truly going through in life, your struggles,your inadequacies, your failings. When it comes right down to it, it is purely a pride issue - wanting people to see you as you want to be, not as you truly are. When you are truly yourself before others, you run the risk of being rejected. I can share with others and give of my money, my possessions, and my time, but to open myself up, to let people see past my defenses, is unacceptable.

Over the last two years, I have had to deal with life circumstances from a variety of directions, blindsided in some sense of the term. My normal routine would have been to put up walls so no one would know what was going on in my life, attempted to pick myself up by my proverbial bootstraps, and deal with the situations. This time I took a different approach. I took a chance. I opened myself up to people I know and trust. I was open and honest about the circumstances in my life. Instead of presenting things in a cleaned up vernacular, I presented the unvarnished truth - this is who I am, where I am, and what I am dealing with - and instead of finding an additional weight of fear from doing so, I felt relief and freedom. I do not have to do it on my own. I live in a community of friendship, people who love Jesus, and in turn love me. I have seen theory turn to practice, and it is a beautiful thing.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4: 10-11

James Taylor's "You've Got A Friend" seems to beg to be associated with this line of thought, but frankly it seems too cliche and so yesterday. Coldplay's "Clocks" conveys my conviction.